Who Knew?

So, from my earlier blogs, you can tell I keep things to myself. I don't like discussing what is going on or what is bothering me. But over this last week, I have found out it actually helps to get your feelings out there. I have vocalized my opinions and feelings (not as much as some people want me to) but enough for them to understand what is really going on. And when you first meet someone, you never know if that person is going to be the one you spill everything to. Well, practically everything, but you get my point. But he actually listened to what I had to say, and gave me advice on the subject. He helped me realize that no matter what happens, I'm my own person. I can do my own thing while the other person does theirs. I don't need that person there 24/7 to help me. And he also gave me apple cider, which just tasted like warmed up apple juice. I mean, really? Warm apple juice? I guess there wasn't enough cinnamon in it, and you can't just add your own cinnamon. But anyway, thank you for listening to me. :) You really helped get me through that night.

Story of Us

Well, since I can't put songs on this thing, I'll just put the lyrics. I don't really like Taylor Swift (I don't love her either), but what I do love is her lyrics. My bestie from high school who knows me oh so well, texted me today and told me look up this song. So I did, and I can't stop listening to it and thinking about it. Thank you Jenni. <3

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met
And the sparks flew instantly
And people would say they're the lucky ones

I used to know my place was the spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat
Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fallout,
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up that I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dyin' to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?Yeah
I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy
And you're doing your best to avoid meI'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us
Of how I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should have held me,
Oh I'm scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
(Chorus)
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?Yeah
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight

So many things that you wish I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me? Yeah
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
Now, Now, Now

And were not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me?Yeah
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, cause we're going down.
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
The End

 

 

 

I underlined a few, okay, a lot, of different parts that I feel are significant to what I am feeling now. I just don't know how else to describe how I feel besides this song. This song has helped me in only the few minutes I have listened to it, and it has made me realize that I can't do anything about this situation. I can do my thing and they can do theirs. I know that's for the best...but is it what I want?

To Whom It May Concern

Here's another poem I wrote. I started it a while ago, and decided to finish it this weekend. I still don't know if I have finished it yet or not, so I will probably keep tweeking it along the way to adjust to how I feel at the time or what is going on.

To Whom It May Concern

I know I'm emotional,
but that doesn't mean you don't have to be.
I know I'm sad,
but that's more of a reason for you to be here with me.
I know I'm depressed sometimes,
but I don't know how to fix it.
I know I overrecat,
but it's because I care, and I don't know what else to do.
I know you want me away more than you're saying,
but I don't know if that will work anymore.
I don't know what's going to happen,
and that's what scares me most of all.


I feel I could add more to it, but I don't know what right now.

I wrote this when I was feeling kinda low, and I've been feeling that way a lot lately. I might not show it sometimes, but this is how I usually feel. With this poem, I just wanted to get a point out that no matter what happens, what is done is done, and nothing can change that. The past is over, so move on to the present.